My voyage to China :
We are born as a human but we become a person through fulfilling a responsible role in society in a selfless way. – Confucius
The Chinese has allowed Confucianism to flourish because it upholds moral virtues, making for a harmonious society.
It was definitely apparent while I was there. Albeit “dysfunctional harmony,” China still reflects the principles in which Confucius stood by and taught. I was fortunate enough to make it to Shenzhen, China in August 2017, even though I intended to depart to Beijing to Teach English at an Elite Training center in September 2016.
It started in the year of 2015, meaning when I knew I was born and made to be international. At first I declined a job offer in Japan 🇯🇵, instead I decided to go follow through with pursuing a job in China.
What was different you ask? Well for starters, I did a lot of research on China, I read On China by Henry Kissinger to get an idea of where China stood on all levels of life such as more money, bigger country, and there was more demand for China so I wanted to fulfill by supplying myself to help. I’ve also gone to Hong Kong before in 2007, doing military service and work there.
I understood that me, as a dark skinned person was looked at as inferior to all others who are fair skinned, aka Caucasian descent or pure Chinese blood.
My spirit informed me that this is what I need to accomplish in my life in order to evolve and become healthier person spiritually.
Well on the night of September 29, 2016, my life took a turn seemingly for the worse. I was staying with a friend at the time due to me flying out in a couple days.
After midnight, the Manager from my projected job informed me just come to Beijing, even if there was a problem with completing my Z visa to work legally in China.
If you know of anything about jail or prison, you at least know personnel aren’t volunteering themselves for it, let Alone an international jail cell at any time.
Nevertheless, I informed him how I did research on the perspectives of how China sees Dark skin and inquired if it was true or not.
This is a direct quote, “Sir, I can’t help it if the children look at you and cry. Your skin may scare them.”
I felt my soul shut down and all of a sudden I felt all alone, perplexed, and betrayed. Immediately, it was as if my physical body was being transported to Beijing, China at that very moment with no support system, no love, no care. All because I was Dark Skinned. I wanted to help the world, heal others, and make others inspired. I felt like I was being punished.
My voyage to the afterlife : So I did the unthinkable and what I thought would be my last decision I would ever make: I took twenty seven sleeping pills. My physical body was still working, barely.
However, my soul temporarily transgressed into the after life. I could see a dark figure, like. Shadow. It stalked me and was facing me as I looked at it. In an instant, I felt what peace felt like for the first time in my life. All of a sudden I heard a voice that whispered, “it’s not your time.”
I woke several days later in the psychiatric ward.
Despite my failure in not being able to go to Beijing, I decided to try again in the year of 2017. This Time I had a support system and a home, and this time I didn’t feel alone. It was a major success and I experienced the harmony in which Confucius had worked so hard and believed in.
However, I can honestly say I didn’t feel discriminated against severely due to my dark skin. I have actually had several discussions regarding this subject matter and realize how things work there Spiritually: is the way the universe wants us to be. Equanimity.
Walking on the soil you can sense the presence of a community. I enjoyed feeling that and being a part of a point of view that is ancient and has been around since the 5th century B.C., thanks to Confucius.
No country can claim so long a continuous civilization or such an intimate link to its ancient pasts and classic principles of strategy and statesmanship. – Henry Kissinger
I recall when I would read philosophy and how to achieve happiness and balance, as a survivor of abuse, neglect and sexual molestation. My heart knew that it was ME that had to keep believing and KNOW and manifest.
My message to is to not give up on your dreams, goals, and passions.
However, if it’s not in your heart and spirit, you will fail. Let’s go back to the basics shall we? What were the things that you pursued in your earlier childhood years? Interests? Maybe those are the pursuits that you should be encompassed in if still possible. After all, consistency is key.
How do you know if it’s your destiny? Well you will know if you do at least one thing pertaining to it everyday: generally with Ease or little resistance. Remember slow and steady wins the race and we ARE one. So take care of yourself first so you can take care of others, and we together will make the world a better place by knowing and believing in EQUANIMITY.